LA Times Sports Writer Goes Coastal
Los Angeles Times sports writer, T.J. Simers, wishes he was funny. Steve Martin funny. Sadly, he’s not all that funny. Nebraskans, as members of the human race, appreciate funny.
Here’s some of the drivel he convinced his employer, the Tribune Company, to run:
I got to thinking last summer, as I drove the family-that-I-used-to-love across Nebraska in a RV what it must be like to actually live there most every day of your life.
I can’t remember for sure if it was Nebraska or Kansas where I saw a tree, but it just seemed as if there wasn’t much there.
That’s why the corn cobs love their football. It’s all they have, everyone wearing red, and sitting there like plump, ripe tomatoes with corncobs stuck to their heads, singing, “There is no place like Nebraska.”
I didn’t know coastal media elites had the wherewithal to drive a recreational vehicle. You learn something everyday.
As for the tired old cliché about Nebraska being boring, I beg to differ. In reality, there are few things more monotonous than sitting in L.A. traffic.
August 2nd, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Hey “everyone”
2 things we can all agree on:
This year is a “make or break” for BC &
If the Huskers only win two games it has to be Colorado and USC!!!
GO TOMATOES!!!!
August 2nd, 2007 at 5:48 pm
I’m sorry, he might be right…
Our good looking blondes are actually worth taking home to Mom. What fun is that:)
If I thought the LA Times was worth subscribing to, I might cancel it.
Standing beside the rest of you (I hope)
Jeff
August 2nd, 2007 at 6:12 pm
The following was an e-mail I sent to the poorest comedian in Hollywood. He might me staying at my house, give me ideas to show him “The Good Life”
(T.J.
I might possibly be willing to let you stay at my place for an entire week, if you can take it. After all, if your life revolves around a Slurpee from the 7-11, you are in desperate need of a change!
Also, LA is in the same boat as Lincoln/Omaha area. Both can fill a football stadium on Saturdays. Only thing is, there is nothing else to do in LA, so you guys can fill the Coliseum and The Rose Bowl. I guess if you are lucky enough to be following people around with cameras and picking up used Kleenex’s you don’t have to worry about buying overpriced tickets to a college football game that is in the middle of rundown LA!
Jeff
Omaha, Nebraska
I will be more than willing to show you where that $40 steak you are eating comes from. If you are dumb enough to pay that much! I’m really not bitter towards the West Coast. I just don’t think you have the guts to live in “true” Nebraska, by your definition.)
August 3rd, 2007 at 5:14 am
Nice e-mail comeback to S(l)imers, Jeff. Unlike most accomplished writers, he certainly writes out of ignorance about Nebraska and the midwest. His feeble attempt at humors only made himself look like an idiot, not Nebraskans. Good jab at him!
August 3rd, 2007 at 7:04 am
Way to go, Jeff! I sent TJS an e-mail message that was not nearly as kind or civilized as yours. From what I’ve read about Simers since reading this article, he apparently has a reputation for randomly criticizing people that he verbally victimizes, and also not caring at all what effects his hurtful words have on his readers and his targets. Thanks for standing up for Husker Nation.
August 7th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
fuck TJS
August 8th, 2007 at 5:09 am
WE all know that Nebraskans have so much more than closed-minded people like Slimers give us credit for…what perfect timing for home-grown (Lincoln) son Joba Chamberlain to make his debut with the New York Yankees last night up in Toronto. Two innings of scoreless relief, a few strikeouts with a 97 mph fastball and 88 mph slider. At only 21, the kid is a great story and has a lot of character, from everyhting I’ve read. He was only drafted one year ago by NY (June, ‘06) and has already made it through all 3 of the Yanks’ minor league levels/teams. I hope that it’s a storybook journey for Joba, could he take the same road as Mariano Rivera did in ‘96? Rivera was a mid-season call-up in ‘95 who blossomed almost immediately, and the Yankees think enough of Chamberlain to have totally re-vamped their ‘07 bullpen by saying good-bye to 2 veterans and not trading for Eric Gagne at the trade deadline when they had first crack at him. Sorry to go off on a baseball tangent here, but Joba is a tremendous person and story from our own backyard, and I hope the nation sees him in the Playoffs & World Series.